"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
