I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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