can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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