i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
