I wish I only lived at night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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