Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
