He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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