ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
