go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
