i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
