i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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