Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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