I'm really into asian looking animals
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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