You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
