if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
