Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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