and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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