Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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