can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
