party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
