His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
