so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
