why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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