That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
