I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You ate ashes out of my bong
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
