I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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