No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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