Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
