5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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