You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
