i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
