He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
