Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
where am i from again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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