She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
