The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he puts the penis in happiness.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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