I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
