I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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