sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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