Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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