just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize