i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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