im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize