If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
