He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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