I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
