It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
