Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
