hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
