And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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