i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
