is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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