I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize