Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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