found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
