false alarm. still invincible.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
