Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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