I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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