I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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