apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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