please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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