he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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