I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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