On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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