I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
is it fun? or sober?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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