I just cut my nipple shaving
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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