Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize